Leisure Gardener Gifts

Gardening: New Year's Resolution.

"I want a beer can holder with a riding mower built around it."

Prize vegetables.

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

So Close..

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Gardener attacked by plants.

Pumpkin patch

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

Gardener

Doing the borders.

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Rose Garden

I guess she had other plans for you.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Yardless: Please help

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.