Legislation Nerd Gifts

'I'm feeling down, too - Why don't we pass some feel-good legislation?'

'The recession is over, again.'

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

"My farewell gift!"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Beware of the Legislation

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

House vs. Senate

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"Europe has learned...yeah, this time we don't need a war to destroy ourselves!"

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

EU - Constitution

'Stick a few upper-class tax cuts to it and it'll pass like a bran muffin dipped in vaseline.'

"Good news-- people are no longer calling your campaign quixotic."

Victim of Sequestration!

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

You want my support for your reform bill, eh? — what's it worth to you?

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a living Constitution!'

'In order for the new Health Care Bill to pass, we'll need to remove the option of Health and Care, and give taxpayers the bill.'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

Uncle Sam dumping the U.S Constitution over a cliff

'Never put off what you can do today, there may be a law against it tomorrow.'

Lettuce referendum: "I voted romaine."

'They just need a little tweaking and updating...like the first one...people abuse it, so I'm changing it to the right for everyone to shut up around me.'

'Looks like we've got the best government money can buy.'

Weapons Ban

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

All-way stops.

'I've always been a proponent of winning people's hearts and minds by suing them.'