Legendary Storyteller Gifts

'If you embraced social media, people wouldn't doubt our existence.'

How Arthur really became king.

Lady of the Remote

'I think it's a bit rich, being told to 'clear out' of the country I was born and bred in, by a flaming welsh man!'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"We only got six days of funding."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Eat my dust!"

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Phoenix

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

Sisyphus visits Stowe

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

Santa CGI Effect

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

Fairy tale

"Lady... I gotta work order to fix a leaky roof."

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

Witch dice.

fairy tales

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Rocket Ark

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

"I don't know. He just said he had discovered something and we had to come over and see it."

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

Press freedom day

'Humph! When I was your age, I had to do my homework in front of a black and white.'