Legendary Foodie Gifts

The legend of Chef Arthur.

Domestic Goddess.

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Crossing the Nachos Grande

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Executive Tacos

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

'Fruitcake, pfefferneusse, we'd like you to consider early retirement.'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

Paninis of the Old West

Chicken A La King

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"

Master Chef

this place got five stars for its fresh food

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

'That's why it's called a full English breakfast.'

"Not the Verity Brewster? The Verity Brewster who invented sweet-potato casserole with marshmallows on top?"

Couple in restaurant, "Sorry it's slow, Chef's got the runs"

'Resveratrol? Flavonoids? Phenolic compounds? Whatever happened to asking about the grape type and origin?'