Heroic Foodie Gifts

"This is it, boys, the moment you've been training for."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Domestic Goddess.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Kitchen Kapers

Benihana style of cooking.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Important Food Groups

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

The Streets - Night

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

Will work for Food Network.

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."