Legal Whiz With A Funny Bone Gifts

'No, insanely funny is not a plea!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

Clive Anderson

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

'Yeah, I shot the guy, but only because I was misled by my advisors.'

Crucial testimony in the case of Cinderella vs. the Association of Fairy Godmothers.

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

'After living together for ten years, we now realize that the only thing we have in common, is common law.'

Computer questionning a witness.

'My client was unaware that going to school was against the rules your Honour: Mary made him do it...'

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

"I'm sorry, Henri. I don't think you can sue every science teacher for 'defamation of effect'."

'They were about to reach a verdict until they heard ...'

"It only takes one barrister, but there must be a solicitor present."

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

'We're making you partner since you'd be easier to indict.'

I told you we should have given power of attorney to the dog instead of the cat.

'Act crazy and maybe we can get you off on the grounds of diminished responsibility.' 'But I only wanted you to check this contract for me!'

"Of course I stand behind my work, counselor. I'm a proctologist."

Pro-bono....anti-bono.

'I'm afraid my gag order also applies to thought balloons, counselor.'

'He was a couch potato, so I mashed him.'