Legal Strategy Fan T-Shirts

Scare tactics.

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Antonin Scalia

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

Corporate Lawyers

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

Man behind desk has glass case with Lawyer Repellant

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'

"So Mr. Garvin asked, did we all have an understanding in writing? And I said, maybe we can talk about that."

Sports Lawyers

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

Domino Effect of Rising Gas Prices.

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

'He's competent in every regard, except to stand trial.'

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'