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'The fact is, you arrived after the shots were fired. You never actually saw my client pull the trigger. Isn't that true?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Truth

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

The Birth of a Lawsuit

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

Equal Justice Is An Illusion

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Can you hear me now?"

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

Jasper Coot: 'Osama shoulda named me to the Supreme Court! I ain't no judge, so I'm qualified! Hell. I ann't even a damn lawyer! But Lord knows, I am judgemental!

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

"You've gotta be for Trump. It's all about the judges."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Corporate Lawyers

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

Sports Lawyers

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

'Guilty or not guilty? - That doesn't leave me much wiggle room.'

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

'On the other hand, if we accept confessions extracted under torture then soon they won't need lawyers.'