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'The fact is, you arrived after the shots were fired. You never actually saw my client pull the trigger. Isn't that true?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Truth

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

The Birth of a Lawsuit

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

Equal Justice Is An Illusion

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Can you hear me now?"

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

Jasper Coot: 'Osama shoulda named me to the Supreme Court! I ain't no judge, so I'm qualified! Hell. I ann't even a damn lawyer! But Lord knows, I am judgemental!

"You've gotta be for Trump. It's all about the judges."

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

Five to Eight

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Corporate Lawyers

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

Sports Lawyers

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

'Guilty or not guilty? - That doesn't leave me much wiggle room.'

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

'Your Honor, I'm here to make excuses for my client.'

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'