Legal Researcher Gifts

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

'Naturally, the list of those of us receiving law degrees would be in small print.'

Lawyer sees office door sign: 'Bureau of Vital Googling'

Cuz I Was Scared

Dog to dog: 'On the internet, I can sniff out anybody.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Trial by Media

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Good boy."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

2021

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Fear/Knowledge

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'