Legal Matters Pillows

"You have a pretty good case, Mr. Pitkin. How much justice can you afford?"

'They presented us with an ironclad contract that we were able to totally reinterpret.'

"You're not going anywhere until we finalize our estate plan."

'And then I said, 'So sue me!'...'

Inland Revenue VAT - "Mr Batson, the consequences are here."

"Why do you want to know if you're covered by workers comp?"

'Ms. Hempworth, check with our legal department...why must we obey the rules?'

'I'm afraid, Reverend, that what the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'Great news, I finally got your 'stay of execution'.'

'Power suits are great for up-and- comers. For you, I recommend the wrongful dismissal suit.'

"It's a fitting name. I walk you through the prenup agreement and counsel you through the divorce."

Appeals Court Door Bell - Keep pressing.

'As we all know your deceased Anna Clara was a devoted cat lover...'

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Before I give you your bill, Mr Fraser, can I ask you to step onto the crash-mat.'

'I heard your licence was revoked.'

'He's a compensation lawyer waiting for an accident to happen.'

"Ambulance chasing is all well and good. But the serious money is in bottom feeding."

Client speaking to a legal advisor

"This is my last visit, Martha. I got the marriage posthumously annulled."

"Reconciliation? Are you crazy? Think about all your pain and suffering! Think about my retainer!"

'It looks as if they want an out of court settlement.'

I sue negligent children!

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

"Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, the bitter truth...."

"I, Mrs Trellis, being of sound mind leave everything to my beloved, Tiddles."

ACME LAW FIRM, 'We've got to find some outside clients -- We can't make a living just suing each other.'

"First, we discuss my percentage of any water you find, real or imagined."

'I want a divorce, a divorce, and a divorce.'

''In order!' You've met my relatives! I want it left in disorder!'

'I can't decide whether to get a lawyer or tell the truth.'

A third of the buck stops here.