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Law Offices: Slip & Trip & Fall formerly Slip & Fall.

Trial by Media

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Bailiff."

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

Violent Crime Statistics

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Lady Justice.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"At least he's honest about it..."