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Law Offices: Slip & Trip & Fall formerly Slip & Fall.

Trial by Media

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Bailiff."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"We make crime pay."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Violent Crime Statistics

A baby in court

Lady Justice.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.