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Lawyer-poet-in-residence

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Stop and Birch

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"#notguilty."

Intellectual Property

Limerick Airport

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'