Legal Lexicon Lover T-Shirts

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Bed Spread"

Eldrow

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

Wordplay: Export.

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'Caroline goes to her crossword compiling class on Thursdays.'

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

"What part of oil lamp next to double squiggle over ox don't you understand?"

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

HELB!

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

"Cynthia, please disambiguate this suite of objectives, cherry-pick anything that's actionable and Nascar it through a dialed-back event horizon."

Roget's thinking of what English book to read next.

'K7K industries (an alleged monopoly case under appeal)

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...

"Yes, you were found guilty of the same crime in 2004."

"I procure considerable gratification from belles-lettres."

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."