Legal Joke Fan T-Shirts

'It's a long shot, but we're going to try the 'let bygones be bygones' defense.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Barristers

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Antonin Scalia

Baby's first words.

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

'Let's agree to disagree.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

'Judge Mental.'

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."