Legal Eagle With A Childlike Spirit Pillows

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"White Collar Prison"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

Judge getting hair done.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

Clive Anderson

'I think its being tapped.'

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"If things go well here, I'm going to open up my own firm."

'Judge Bush agreed to come out of retirement on a temporary basis.'

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

"Before I begin, everyone must sign a non-disclosure agreement."

'... the party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'They were about to reach a verdict until they heard ...'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

Due Diligence Man

'I can't sign that behavior contract unless my attorney reviews it.'

"Before I give you this anonymous Valentine's card coudl you just sign this waiver confirming that you won't fall uncontrollably in love with me...or take out a sexual harassment suit!"

Computer Aided Divorce.

'I need a continuance, your Honor.'

Sue the Author: 1pm-3pm