Legal Counselor T-Shirts

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"It won't be the first time I've had one as an opposing attorney."

"The advice was free. But the office visit was a hundred bucks an hour."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about the law of the jungle—not guilty."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"You want to bring a class-action suit? Are you out of your mind?"

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

"Perhaps, Mr Damon, you don't need an attorney. Perhaps you need two attorneys."

"Remember we're selling the jury both credibility and plausibility."

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

Office of the independent counsel.

'I suppose privatizing the legal system really was the last straw.'

"... You have a cold?... So, does that make you an illegal eagle?"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Licensed Therapist

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

America, are we learning anything?

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."