Legal Consultant T-Shirts

'That's a new word legal came up with. They're still working on a definition for it.'

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

Maze of legalities.

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'I'm just running this past legal.'

Put it in writing!

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

'Don't you two know any lawyers?'

'We're appealing your case all the way until your money runs out.'

The Devil's in the detail!

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'I'm too personally involved to accept a settlement? Of course not. Send their lawyer in.'

"Proving negligence on the wall owner will be difficult, especially since you had no business up there."

'Let's run it through legal.'

"This is the only product claim that legal would allow."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'What you refer to as looky-looks is classified as insider trading.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

Social media convictions.

'With my degree in law and in physics, I hope to create resonable doubt.'

"This is my lawyer, my lawyer's lawyer and my lawyer's lawyer's lawyer!"

'Yes, I have both a law and a medical degree. If you sue me for 'malpractice', I'll sue you for 'slander'.'

"That's our legal department."

"This contract just won't do, good God a child could understand it."

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"While this is by no means an admission of guilt we would like to settle out of court for 78 trillion dollars."

H Corp - And it's high powered, take-no-nonsense legal dept.

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

'Paying for her legal advice is a waste of money, I mean where's the value?'

'Grabbit and Squeeze' - 'We Never Lose' - "Perhaps you didn't realise that our mission statement doesn't refer to winning cases"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'We need to find more ways to bring the benefits of litigation to developing nations.'

"Come on into my office, twitters, and let's get right down to mumbo jumbo"