Legal Consultant T-Shirts

'That's a new word legal came up with. They're still working on a definition for it.'

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

Maze of legalities.

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'I'm just running this past legal.'

Put it in writing!

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

'We're appealing your case all the way until your money runs out.'

'Don't you two know any lawyers?'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

The Devil's in the detail!

'I'm too personally involved to accept a settlement? Of course not. Send their lawyer in.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"This is the only product claim that legal would allow."

'What you refer to as looky-looks is classified as insider trading.'

'Let's run it through legal.'

"Proving negligence on the wall owner will be difficult, especially since you had no business up there."

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

Social media convictions.

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

"While this is by no means an admission of guilt we would like to settle out of court for 78 trillion dollars."

'With my degree in law and in physics, I hope to create resonable doubt.'

H Corp - And it's high powered, take-no-nonsense legal dept.

'Yes, I have both a law and a medical degree. If you sue me for 'malpractice', I'll sue you for 'slander'.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"That's our legal department."

"This is my lawyer, my lawyer's lawyer and my lawyer's lawyer's lawyer!"

"This contract just won't do, good God a child could understand it."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"I could tell you all the secrets to my success as an attorney, but then I'd have to bill you"

'Grabbit and Squeeze' - 'We Never Lose' - "Perhaps you didn't realise that our mission statement doesn't refer to winning cases"

'Well bang goes your second career as a claimant.'

ACME LAW FIRM, 'We've got to find some outside clients -- We can't make a living just suing each other.'

'Paying for her legal advice is a waste of money, I mean where's the value?'