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Legal Aid Mugger.

7 days to pay legal fees please help

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

I love Lawyers

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'