Legal Agreements Gifts

"The contract was binding. The super glue wasn't necessary."

"Pre-nups are healthy for a relationship. It's good for our lawyers to get to know one another."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Darling, how wonderful ...a prenup!"

"For better or for worse, from pre-nuptial contract to no-fault divorce..."

'Darling...a prenup how wonderful!'

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

'My client is fine with the nuptial agreement except for section 7a, non parole period!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Bailiff."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"They're class action figures."

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."