Leftover Lamenter Gifts

Leftover quorn for Peel. - 'What have we here? Leftover quorn.' - 'Oh, no! Tragedy strikes... now my only option is takeaway.' -

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

Banks hand out umbrellas in good weather and take them back when it rains.

Another Degree and Deeper in Debt

'Considering my student debt, I felt it prudent to specialize in bankruptcy law,'

"When I was a child, I lost childish amounts of money, but when I became a man I put away childish losses and started losing man-sized amounts of money."

'That's because they won't let you die until you pay your student loans.'

I called Laurel an hour ago and she hasn't called me back. Do you think she still likes me?! Ahh! Now it's an hour and one minute! Love is a beautiful thing.

"God, I hate cows."

"We haven't lowered our fees, but we do offer discounted grief counseling."

"It seems like nowadays nobody appreciates the problems facing the super-wealthy."

Bank Student Loan Dept. You're only repaying a small fraction of your student loans? Yeah, because at this point I've forgotten almost everything I learned in college.

Monday. Restaurant. Daily special. Steak. Tuesday. Hamburger. Wednesday. Homestyle meatloaf. Thursday. I know this is your favorite restaurant, and I guess it's okay to eat here again today ... but tomorrow we'll probably need to find someplace else to eat! Daily special. Cream of meatloaf soup.

"Do you remember when all we had to worry about was growing stuff?"

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

'All right already - I'll change your litter box.'

'It's only temporary. My student loans didn't quite carry me until social security.'

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

"I'm full of an unspeakable sadness and it goes a little something like this..."

'I know I'm a small investor. What makes me mad is that when I started with you I was a large investor."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

"The shrimp alfredo you made a few weeks ago?"

'Sorry folks you've missed this cartoon.'

"... and there's a nominal fee for that emotional baggage."

'Soup of the day.' 'Cream of Monday.'

"I don't have the $39,000 I need to pay off my student loans - I don't even have the comma."