Lecture Hall Veteran T-Shirts

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Scarcity

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

Presentation: Any questions?

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

Sermon Applause.

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'And in conclusion.'

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

Business coach hiding in speach desk.