Lecturing T-Shirts

Gone Lecturin'

'We collaborate. I'm an expert, but not an authority, and Dr Gelbis is an authority, but not an expert.'

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'I'm going to begin with a joke so we can get the humor out of the way.'

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

Forgetfulness - The seven warning signs.

"Any questions?"

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

'Pst Ned! You're losing 'em.'

'My talk today was going to be on the art of being prepared, but I lost my notes.'

Presentation: Any questions?

How to tell when your presentation needs a little fine tuning.

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"Don't worry, I welcome stupid questions because I have plenty of stupid answers."

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'I'll keep my remarks brief.'

'Could you speak a little louder?'

"The room is going to love you. Just be funny, serious, modest and cocky."

A good speech is always shorter than you audience's attention span.

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

'Unaccustomed as I am, to public speaking...'

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

'Yes, that person there...'

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

'As I gaze out upon this sea of smiling faces ... albeit sleeping ... but nevertheless smiling faces ... '

'Could I see you after class?'

'We're running late and I have much to cover. Can you hold your eight-part question for later?'

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

'No, no, no, I give the keynote!'

A curate dining with some hunters

"I'd let you in, but I'm not sure I'm all here today"