Leash Collector Gifts

I think she's a control freak.

Wow! That's a nice leash you have on! Yeah, I admire your restraint!

"You were right, Mom. The new leash has really cured her pulling problem."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Humans are strange."

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"You can stop now. The squirrels are gone."

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

'Master is too lazy to walk us, so we walk each other...'

"Is your dog friendly?!"

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"My human can't tell which end is which."

"Our new dog seems to be really, really shy!"

"No, no, no. Double-click to open. I'll walk you through it one more time. Go get your leash."

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

Policeman to driver; 'You gotta be kidding. Your name is actually Anna Nicole Smith?'

Hang Time Fido

'I'm in the lead!'

'A walk is supposed to be fun. If it's not, you aren't doing it right.'

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

Walking the Dog.

"Yo... come on... you can at least turn your head."

Dog.

I'm interviewing for a new walker.