Leadership Critic Gifts

"He's a very controlling person."

"My first concern is the well-being of my crew."

'It certainly didn't take Charlie very long after his promotion to grow an impressive set of claws, did it?'

"I don't like labeling people either. I get my rate-faced, bootlicking, brownnosing, liver-lipped, waste-of-space flunky to do it."

"I check to see if people fear and hate me."

Person in authority is a blockhead.

'You can see the need for a figurehead...someone to inspire the firm...but I'm beginning to think this attempt at a personality cult has gone a bit too far.'

Covid-19 Leadership

"You're wrong! I'm not the worst boss you've ever had. I'm the worst former boss you've ever had."

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

"Excellency, your subjects are seeking excellence, thus they are not seeking you..."

'Here's our new organizational chart. I'm at the top, and underneath are our vice presidents for greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride, lust, and gluttony.'

'I hate his 'my way or the highway' attitude, but considering our crumbling infrastructure, I'd better go his way.'

Another company falls prey to the dreaded 'Top-Heavy Management Syndrome.'

'Getting the best out of chaps after they've decided to leave requires a bit of planning.'

I asked them to take me to their leader, and they just started arguing with one another.

"Psychopath is too strong a word to describe him, but sociopath is too weak a word."

Leading By Caving In

"The buck stops here."

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

Boss: Suggestion Box Bin

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

'If there's one thing I've learnt from being a good manager, it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

Waste Management.

"It's the new management structure, the worker's the one at the bottom..."

'I talk the talk but I don't walk the walk.'

'How can the employees accuse me of running a sweatshop? Don't I let them go home after midnight?'

Oligarchy

The Buck Stops Here.