Leadership Coach Gifts

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Leadership training.'

Bus driver going to Leadership Conference regarding people fighting: 'Hold it! You can't all have the front seat!'

"As a leader, I will always take you forward!"

"I attended a leadership seminar. They learnt a lot from me."

"But if they all take their buyouts, we'll be here all alone."

'How are you at looking guilty? - We need to hire a scapegoat.'

'...perhaps it is rather tempting fate.'

"Womanaging Director - That's not equality. That's revenge!"

'I believe that if something is worth doing, I'll have my people do it.'

"Still believe leaders are born not developed?"

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

"I'm late to a leadership class I'm teaching, so I went ahead and forged your name on our corporate code of ethics agreement."

"I used to try and lead by example, but now I'm trying contemporary dance."

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."

Pulling Your Own Strings

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

How leaders fail

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Work/Life Balance

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."