Lazy Painter T-Shirts

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

LAY ZEE FUK

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Fridge-to-table"

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

Gone to seed.

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

"Doc, I think I'm suffering from insomnia...every ten minutes the boss bursts into my office and wakes me up!"

"That painting's not going to paint itself."

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"I just got home. Let me roost a bit."

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

'..or do you think we should go with this one?'

These days, he only uses the @#$% thing to change the channel.

'How does he get away with it? If he's not playing with the mouse, he's sleeping.'

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

Edvard Munch

'The living room shelves are coming along nicely dear.'

'Bugleweed makes a nice ground cover, and you don't have to set your alarm.'

'These elevators are slow, but it sure beats flying.'

Elf Portrait

Risks for the heart patient Unloading the Dishwasher "Sorry? No can do." Answering the Land Line R-R-RING! R-R-R-RING! N-nope R-R-RING!!! Doing Taxes "Doc said I should take it easy." Any Car-Related Errand "The old ticker."

"Looks like a case of Death by Missed Adventure."

'Don't do today what you can leave for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week or until someone else does it for you.'

Recipes from The I-Seriously-Don't-Care Cookbook.

'The gardener in him sold out to the nature-conservationist.'

Man has a can of tuna in his fish bowl.

'I feel so... lethargic. Well, I would be if I could be bothered.'