Lazy Lounger Pillows

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Walkies!"

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"Why can't you hang your clothes up in the wardrobe like any normal person."

'The Magic Cushion molds and attaches to you so that every chair is your chair.'

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'...and talk about lazy!'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Man's best friends."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I am dressed for the job I want."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Sick person curled up at home

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

Mexican Dog

Counting Booze bruises

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

Floating

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

'Well played, sir.'

"We're watching your side of the room with growing fascination."

Rest distracted by moles.

'My dietitian told me to do something about my weight.....'