Lazy Lounger Pillows

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Walkies!"

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

Exercise doesn't increase longevity --- It's well known that things with fewer moving parts last longer!

"Why can't you hang your clothes up in the wardrobe like any normal person."

'The Magic Cushion molds and attaches to you so that every chair is your chair.'

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'...and talk about lazy!'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Man's best friends."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I am dressed for the job I want."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

Sick person curled up at home

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

Mexican Dog

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

Counting Booze bruises

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Well played, sir.'

Rest distracted by moles.

"Honey, grab me a seal from the freezer will ya."

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

Floating