Lazy Environmentalist T-Shirts

"It's his contribution to the environment"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

Entering Washington, DC. Today's Polticial Atmosphere is TOXIC.

"We've made a few changes."

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

Tree funeral.

"And make sure you give me a paper straw... gotta do my bit for the planet."

'How I love Global Warming... Otherwise, it would be necassary to look for a -BLEEARGH!- serious job!'

'Why are you watching TV with the lights off?'

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

"Why the torch?" "It's the solar power for the bus stop!"

"And that's why I don't have a steaming pile of s**t in my back yard."

Picnic blankets with pop up trees.

"We are indeed a green company. We make as much of it as we can."

'We bought this bolt hole to get away from politicians talking green politics.'

Boss, there's no toxic waste anywhere near the café, is there? What is this, the eighties? What's next, you're going to ask me if any whales or baby seals are harmed in the production of our coffee? Are you going to ask me to sing "We are the World" with Stevie Wonder? Are you going to ask me to film a "very special episode" about the dangers of dope? People didn't just care about this stuff in the 1980s, boss. Want me to get some Krazy Glue and fix the "hole in the ozone layer"?

"I didn't design mankind to be a short-sighted, self-destructive, ravening plague upon their planet. They figured that out all on their own."

'I feel really close to nature with the wood-burning stove.'

'I told you we should have protested against that windfarm'

"I, too, want to preserve the environment, just as it is: acid rain, holes in the ozone layer, lots of crap in the air."

'I fail to note the significance of rising sea levels here on the 39th floor.'

"Sure, we recycle junk mail - we shove it straight into the neighbour's mail box."

'The chicken manure didn't work out, so now Luftkopf is working on an automobile engine that runs on earwax.'

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

"This material is 80% recycled."

"And our top of the range model is uniquely fuelled by hydro electricity sourced from the clearest glacier melt water filtered through recycled muslin face masks."

"Late-stage capitalism passes the torch to a new generation..."

'It's a program on conserving energy.'

"Wait - use a knife. It's greener."

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

Capitalist tree hugger