Lazy Day Celebrators Pillows

"Was it something I said?"

Police Feline Unit

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

A Golden Non-Retriever

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Ultra-lazy sloth

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Ah, business as usual.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

Snooker cue changes the channels on tv.

"It's the naps you don't take that you regret the most."

The Lackadaisical Dog Walker

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

'Don't just sit around all day. Go pollinate something?'

'You can't imagine how happy we are to find a vet who makes house calls!'