Lazy Day Celebrators Pillows

"Was it something I said?"

Police Feline Unit

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

A Golden Non-Retriever

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

Ultra-lazy sloth

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

Snooker cue changes the channels on tv.

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

'Don't just sit around all day. Go pollinate something?'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"It's the naps you don't take that you regret the most."

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.