Lazy Afternoon Enjoyer T-Shirts

'I will make an appointment to visit with a financial planner, dear--right after I get done taking down the Christmas lights.'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Can you mow the lawn? The kids can't find their trampoline.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Lazy Octopus

American Idle.

Cat and mouse

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

Conservation Area

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

How the goat got square eyes.

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

Fast Food Fly-Thru

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

Inactive wear store.

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"