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"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'

'Susan, this is my lawyer. He goes with me everywhere in case I have to sue someone.'

'My fee will be one third of the two million you're suing for, but remember, I do all the work.'

Don't worry. Be litigious.

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Violent Crime Statistics

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

Lady Justice.

'It's a treasure map.'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'