Litigation Enthusiast T-Shirts

Lawyers Treadmill: Ambulance chaser.

'How did you know that I'm an attorney?'

'Things are not going well but before I try pestilence, fire or flood again I'll just toss in a few more lawyers...'

'Don't just sit there Edwards! Sue someone!'

Have U Had an Accident?

'I've always been a proponent of winning people's hearts and minds by suing them.'

"Don't worry about me! Find witnesses!!"

'I want you to file a malpractice suit.'

"He's not keen on health and safety issues . . . he's a personal injury lawyer."

Suees and Sueers

'We're being sued for filing a frivolous lawsuit.'

"Sticks and stones didn't break my bones, but the words did hurt me. Can I sue?"

Law Offices

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'Ladies and gentlemen... let's not quibble, when we can sue.'

Don't cry over spilt milk. Sue.

I like Jenkins' can-sue attitude!

'I'd like to sue everybody I've ever had anything to do with for malpractice!'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

Acme Law Firm, All You can Litigate -- $5000.

Nothing personal. We sue all of our friends.

"Mother Nature never gave me the chance to become a footballer. I want to file a discrimination lawsuit."

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

No Lawsuit too Frivolous Lawsuits

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

"Any history of medical malpractice suits in your family?"

"I really enjoy suing actors, but eventually I'd like to sue a director."

"In a more perfect world we could sue them back to the stone age."

"We represent a North Carolina trade association and we'd like to file suit against the Native Americans for introducing our clients to a certain agricultural product."

"You should take these in the presence of an attorney."

"Mr. Packard will sue you now."

"You've arrived at the sixth, and most rewarding, stage of grief ... Litigation."

Aaaah. What? Look at my chili. It's disgusting! What? Oh no. What's happened? Where is it?! I don't see anything! Exactly. There's nothing. No finger. No appendage. Not even a hair! How am I supposed to sue you?! Now kindly accidentally put a fingernail in my chili. I'd like inadvertent ferret droppings. I'll be sued for failing to be suable.

"That's chemical law for you. No matter how minor the damage claim, our fee is always major."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'