Lawn Sale Lovers T-Shirts

'He's tagging exercicse equipment to study its migratory patterns as it travels from lawn sale to lawn sale.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Beginning Yarder.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

Beware of the Lawn

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

Cow Pilot.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

A psychic mows the lawn.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"Who's a good boy?!!"

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"