Lawn Overlord T-Shirts

"I don't care how much the petrol costs for the strimmer. Get it cut!"

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Sale! Weed Whackers

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Beginning Yarder.

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

'I think they're the best crop circles you've ever done!'

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

'I have too much power... but I'm not complaining.'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

Potential Into Kinetic Energy Conversion Method #18

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

Mower Repair

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

"Who's a good boy?!!"

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

Desert Island in the midst of a lawn dotted with 'Keep of the Grass' signs.