Lawn Ornament Enthusiasts T-Shirts

No caption. (Yard in front of igloos is decorated with plastic penguins.)

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

Beware of the Lawn

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Mower Repair

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

'This is Ed down the street. Your dog is doing his business on my lawn again.'

'Honey, could you turn the water on?'

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

Mowing the Jungle

'The grass is plastic, too.'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Mohawk Yard.

"And what Patio & Garden Outlet has joined together, let no yard sale put asunder."

"Larry's taking a victory lap around the crab grass before putting the mower away for the winter."

'Still haven't given up on your lawn, eh, Pertzborn?'

'To peeeEEE, or not to pee... That is the question.'

The Lawn Gegnome Project

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."

"Do you have anything less - green?"