Lawn Mastery Lover T-Shirts

"Who's a good boy?!!"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Beginning Yarder.

"Mulch madness"

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

Three different categories of lawnmower.

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'George! This way quick!'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

Beware of the Lawn

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

A psychic mows the lawn.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

Cow Pilot.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'