Lawn Liberationist Gifts

No Mow May

'Homelessness does have its advantages - I haven't mowed a lawn for five years.'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Beginning Yarder.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

The Scottish Lawn

Beware of the Lawn

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Keystone XL

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Human males marking territory.