Lawful Looter Pillows

"I plan to retire when bank robbery becomes legal!"

Spot the difference.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

"Yes, you were found guilty of the same crime in 2004."

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'Good thing your car was stationary when it hit me.'

Fencing Venn Graph

'What shall I do with this mega fingerprint?'

WPC

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

"Police. Nobody move or groove."

"Only thing he can't crack is why his wife would just up and leave."

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

'I was an attorney but that fizzled out. Apparently I couldn't distinguish between legal and illegal.'

No Smoking Building.

'I told you we should have testified SOMETHING but the truth!'

'This could get tricky, sir -- a Bosnian separatist group has your luggage.'

'Who told you, just because i kissed you once or twice, you could laze around the office?'

Traffic Court. To be fair, he did pay his ticket.

"Thank goodness I convinced them to put this playground outside of the courthouse. Now it feels like recess."

'This way I keep the law and don't get grossed out.'

"How can it be an 'Act of God'? Your policy states you're an atheist."

"Officer, shouldn't this be a time for healing?"