Lawful Lifter Gifts

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"How much could your mother bench?"

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"I don't care how sick you feel; don't drop it."

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"I plan to retire when bank robbery becomes legal!"

'For your aerobic exercise today, give me five 'Sweet Georgia Browns', a couple of 'Hot Times in the Old Town Tonight', and hit the showers.'

strong man bends an iron bar

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

Workmen Lifting.

WPC

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

Anabolic Steroids

An embarrassing moment: the wrong floor. Joey presses the door close button. Just then the power fails.

'Isn't being self-centred a disability?'

"Ooh, Dave. Your DNA results have come back! According to this, you're 10% German, 15% Irish, and 75% layabout."

Clearly, this pair were planning on getting up to something...

The Sequels

"Officer, shouldn't this be a time for healing?"

"Your first perp walk, Your Honor?"

'No, I don't sell too many but it is good exercise.'

'Speed limit 32 ft/sec 2.'

"I should totally appear to them."

'It's no wonder they caught me. I got sloppy.'

"One night in a moment of rage, I tore off a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of Law' tag from a pillow!"