Law Meets Faith Fun Gifts

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

A baby in court

United Church of OMG

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'Let there be cool.'

"Objection! 'Alleged' Murder Hornet!"

"'Host' and Cheese?"

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

'Is this seat saved?' Fundamentalism Gone Awry.

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

"I can assure you, Your Honor, my client isn't a flight risk."

Warning: Quitting smoking now will greatly reduce your chances of getting a piece of the settlement pie.

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

Stop pay toll.

'Uh, do these allow for insanity pleas?'

'Padre, if I told you, then I would have to kill you.'

'Keyhole Perjury'

'According to this, they're suing you for illegal entry and the theft of one mince pie and a glass of sherry.'

"It's not a question of kosher. He's checking the rabbi's name to see if it's one whose politics he agrees with."

'It's been a long time since we laughed one out of here!'

Get divorced now!

God's Wrath Level: high.

The Smiths were members of the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.