Law Laffer Gifts

'I think our best bet is the 'evil twin' defense.'

"You're fired."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

Sue the Author 3PM

"Bailiff."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Stop and Birch

"#notguilty."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Intellectual Property

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"They're class action figures."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"