Law Firms Gifts

'It's a shame. Harkins still had so much more left to sue.'

'He has too much money and no common sense... he's a lawyers dream.'

'I'll be in the lobby.. looking for someone to sue.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Campaign for Plain English

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Changing Minds

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Wal-Mart Ruling

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"At least he's honest about it..."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"Oh, say you can't see, any conflicts of interest in me! What's good for my brand, is now the law of the land! And the crooked media's nasty glare, my killer tweets bursting in air... Gave proof to the news cycle, that I'm so awesome it's almost unfair!..

Atty.-Gen. Sessions reveals new law enforcement strategies to deal with opioid epidemic.

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

"It says here an increasing number of Brits blog and tweet in Afrikaans. Why?"

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Paralegal eagle.