Law Firm T-Shirts

'We do everything here in-house.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Campaign for Plain English

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Changing Minds

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Atty.-Gen. Sessions reveals new law enforcement strategies to deal with opioid epidemic.

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

Paralegal eagle.

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

I am billing, therefore I am.

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'