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Man walking past a policeman. He noticed pig hooves coming out the bottom of the policeman's pants.

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Sweet Jailbreak

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

Rollercoaster police chase.

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Just doing my bit towards breaking up the banks...

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'I always need motivation to exercise. Like being chased by the cops.'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

"I'm a Texas Ranger."

Tunnel of Love

Hair Spray / CS Gas.

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."

Christmas Police

"Avon calling..!"