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P.C. Gone Mad.

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Excessive Paperwork

'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

Sweet Jailbreak

Stun-gun target practice.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

Rollercoaster police chase.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

Piñata police line-up.

The Automatic Policeman

'And what do you do?'

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Oh, sorry, I didn

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

Crooks

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

It slowly became apparent that the police interpretive dance artist was less effective than the police sketch artist.

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Whoever said 'dressed to kill' hasn't seen your average murderer.'

"OK, since you have a medical card the cat nip is legal, but I'm going to be watching you."

How ghastly! He's holding his knife like a pen!

'Even my three year old doesn't believe in that last one.'