Law Enforcement Humor Fan Prints

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

Don't Walk - "They Buddy, can't you read!"

Police Feline Unit

Billy. The Kid.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"You were going 24,998 in a 24,955!"

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

Sweet Jailbreak

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"Honey, did you have to bring the whole squad to our elopement?"

Containment Cops

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

Rollercoaster police chase.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

Piñata police line-up.

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

It slowly became apparent that the police interpretive dance artist was less effective than the police sketch artist.

'I'm sure the officer will understand why I'm not stopping.'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Oh, sorry, I didn

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'