Police Humor Fan Prints

'I only asked if a black umbrella had been handed in.'

"I'll have the good cocktail." "I'll have the bad cocktail."

Police dancing behind line - titled 'Police Line Dancing'.

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

'He had it coming..He said my mother had an arse like the back of a cart horse!'

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'

Okay, knock it off. I'm not falling for the old "good fish, bad fish" routine.

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

Oh, sorry, I didn

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'Illegal immigrant.'

'There you go again - laying down the law.'

'Number three. Definitely number three.'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

'The bailiffs took my car away yesterday, and I didn't even have a chance to siphon out the petrol.'

'This is a market correction.'

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Policemen

"Avon calling..!"

"Come on out, Rocco. We know you're in there."

"Be sure to have your body cams on."

Police Warning - Flash photography can seriously damage your driving licence.

Christmas Police

Don't Walk - "They Buddy, can't you read!"