Law Enforcement Joke Fan Prints

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

Police Feline Unit

Billy. The Kid.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"You were going 24,998 in a 24,955!"

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Traffic Jam

Sweet Jailbreak

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"Honey, did you have to bring the whole squad to our elopement?"

Rollercoaster police chase.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

'Have you any idea what speed you were doing, sir?'

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

'This is just a routine check, sir -- are you a turtle?'

'I'm sure the officer will understand why I'm not stopping.'

Police Picket Line - Do Not Cross.

' We have ways of making them talk but how do we make them shut up ?!! '

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."