Law Enforcement Analysts Gifts

More Automated Police Functions

Trial by Media

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"National security adviser"

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Studied the Constitution. Didn't like it.

Totalitarian Humour

"True crime meets reality TV"

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

"Careful! He knows computers."

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

'More government surveillance!'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"That's hardly necessary!"

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

The Jose Padilla Experience

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

Racial Profiling

Family traits.

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Mobsters at the Beach

Legalish