Law Gifts

"I see. And precisely what methods did you use to determine that my client was a 'bad boy'?"

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"It's a deal, but just to be on the safe side let's have our lawyers look at this handshake."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

"Look, I'm not saying it's going to be today. But someday - someday - you guys will be happy that you've taken along a lawyer."

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse." "I didn't know that, either..."

"You have a pretty good case, Mr. Pitkin. How much justice can you afford?"

"I thought it was legal-I wrote it on a legal pad."

"I'll work on the appeal. You try to escape."

Law School teacher.

"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. After that, law school was pretty much a given."

'No, I said 'paralegals'.'

"I understand you're some fancy pants lawyer."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

"You can't plead cute."

"What are you - some kind of justice freak?"

"Isn't it true that you did not love the victim, as you claim, but, in point of fact, feigned affection for the sole purpose of obtaining tuna fish?"

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"I made partner!"

"Did you or did you not employ a leash to drag your cairn terrier, Jack, away from the corner of Park Avenue and Sixty-fifth Street in spite of his making every effort to clearly indicate to you that he wished to stay where he was?"

'Don't spread it around, but on the really tough ones, I just go with 'eenie, meenie, minie, moe.''

'This is not the kind of 'out of court settlement' I had in mind.'

"How did this case ever get so far?"

"Could my client be innocent? Probably not. My point is it's interesting to think about."

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

'This is your lucky day!'

"So, before passing judgment, please consider that science now shows that the male brain is not fully developed until never."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

"Your Honor, the defense contends its client could never get a fair trial in this court."

"Are you telling me that just because something is against the law, that makes it illegal?"

"It's what I do."